(part 1 of 3 part series)
In this 3-part series, I’ll be teaching you a DIY approach to some of the most valuable tools I share with my coaching clients. These can be powerful skills for bringing more ease, more fulfillment and more self-determination to every aspect of your life—from career to relationships.
Part 1. Discovering Your Personal Values
We are all on a hero(ine)’s journey toward discovering our authentic life’s purpose (the impact we were born to make in our world.) Those lucky enough to discover their path, and then embrace it, have lives that often feel full, balanced and joyous. You know famous people like this: Oprah Winfrey, Julia Child, Magic Johnson. Can you think of someone in your life?
In order to discover and embrace your unique role in life, it’s helpful to understand what your personal values are. Firstly—values are not the same as morals. Values are those energies or qualities that have to be front and center in your life or things feel flat or frustrating—out-of-sync—and often you’re not as successful as you would like.
For example, if one of your top values is “Family” or “Being Number One”, neither is a moral choice—it’s who you are. There’s nothing inherently virtuous or un-virtuous in your authentic values. The value itself is not what’s important, but the degree to which you’re fully paying attention to it in your day-to-day life.
For instance, one of my top values is creativity. Now that I know this deep in my bones, it is easier to resist opportunities, relationships or situations where I know my creativity will be undervalued—or worse, ignored or squashed. I would always feel uncomfortable in these situations, like a ballerina in a locker room.
When you understand what your values are and begin to use them as the benchmarks by which you measure all major decisions, your life can come to feel easier, joyous and exciting. Making these kinds of informed, mindful choices will help you find and stay on your own, personal path of flow and fulfillment. So, it’s essential that you identify those values which are intrinsic to you—as unique as your DNA.
This values discovery work is often accomplished in one or more focused sessions with your Life Coach. However, you can do much of it on your own. To facilitate that, I’m going to lead you through a guided visualization of a peak experience in the audio link below. But first, I think it might be helpful for me to tell you about a values discovery experience in my life.
For me, a peak experience was the first time I did a (nerve-wracking) live, national TV show. As the cameras started to roll, I thought my heart was going to pound out of my chest. But once I settled in and started fielding questions from the telephone audience, I slipped into flow.I was operating at a level beyond conscious, logical thinking. The questions were posed and, from somewhere within, the answers appeared, just as easily. The time flew by and 50 minutes later, I was shocked when the producer called, “That’s a wrap.”
When I examined this, I realized the my top values of: Creativity/ Being of Service to Others/ Playfulness/ and Intuition were being fully engaged on that stage. On steroids! No wonder I was on a natural high.
— By the way, I have yet to work with anyone who really understood their values before we completed this exercise. So don’t worry.
Now let’s go on a little journey to discover some of your values–just get comfortable and listen to the guided audio below.
Some Values
(keep in mind, this is not a shopping list; this is just a thought-starter. Your values may not appear on this list at all.
Achievement
Accomplishment
Adventure
Beauty
Being the Best
Bravery
Change-agent
Choice
Community
Compassion
Confidence
Connection
Contribution
Creativity
Directness
Enthusiasm
Environment
Excellence
Family
Freedom
Fun
Generosity
Gentleness
Growth
Happiness
Harmony
Health
Honesty
Humor
Independence
Innovation
Intimacy
Integrity
Intuition
Joy
Kindness
Leadership
Learning
Love
Mastery
Nature
Outrageousness
Partnership
Peace
Personal Growth
Recognition
Safety
Spirituality
Serenity
Security
Service to Others
Simplicity
Spontaneity
Strength
Risk-taking
Romance
Tradition
Trust
Truth
Wisdom
Zest